Today marks 2 weeks from my last National Bikini competition and also the last day I lived on a diet of chicken and asparagus. I have done 9 of these shows over the past 3 years but this year was different. This year I did 4 of the 9 shows in just a 6 month period (as I mentioned in my Extreme Dieting Post, 5 depletions in 6 months).
At this point I am sure you are asking why I would attempt this, at least I am asking myself that. The issue is that there are only 3 <over 35 National competitions and they all happen to be in July and August. Good, I suppose, because we can stay dieted down for a 8 week period, Bad because we have to stay dieted down for 8 weeks… However, if you are like me, you want to give it your all and that is exactly what I did.
In my last article I talked about the challenges of Extreme Dieting but I did not go into details about what exactly I was experiencing. After so many woman reached out to talk about their experiences, fears and concerns, I think it is important to be completely transparent with you and talk about exactly what I am going through.
The first supper:
When I ate my first meal 2 weeks ago, I had a difficult time keeping it down. I am guessing that my stomach had shrunk and the amount of food I ate was too much for it to process. So It kept coming back up. The meal I chose was bland with white rice and some sushi. I chose this meal because had it been an Italian meal, like pizza, the acid in the sauce would burn like hell. This I learned the hard way! Please do not ever eat pizza or anything with tomato sauce after dieting! It will hurt for hours and you will be up all night in pain.
The days after the show I could not control my mental need to eat. Even more, I missed dinners out with my family. People all over the world gather around the dinner table as a sense of community. We all know that we can continue to enjoy these moments even when we are on a “diet” but there is also a level of comfort when we can just chill and not stress over each bite. To be able to sit down in a restaurant with my family and just clear my mind was something I missed terribly. This is also something that is going to take me weeks, if not months, to get back to. I need to be able to sit down and not eat, yet alone think about eating, every damn thing on the menu!
Unfortunately, I was not at a point to make good decisions because I miss the taste and texture of food. So I ate, and ate, and ate. It does not help that I am home all day either. Like I said in my previous article, my brain was not getting the signals that I was full…however my stomach was bloating terribly. I only stopped eating when I could no longer breath.
After each show our bodies will bloat, that is normal as we introduce sodium, water, and fats back to our diet. Of course we all know that a reverse diet is so important, but good luck telling my mind that! Yes, I know what I need to do. Yes, I had a reverse diet from a wonderful person who was trying to save me from going off the tracks. However, there was no controlling my mind at this point. I mean, my mental strength is what allowed me to diet like this in the first place!
So, this allows me to tell you first hand what all this is actually doing. I am the Guinea Pig, in every sense of the noun!
Previous shows I would derail for about 3 days for the first 2 weeks, eventually leveling back out. Not this time. It is taking me literally 14 days to slowly get control back, longer then ever …quite possibly because this entire year I have been solely focused on dieting.
To say I was bloated is quite an understatement. The skin on my abdomen is pulled so tightly that it hurts, the veins are still showing because I am still lean on the fat percentage side. I am a rock hard water balloon. My breath is weak and my energy is slowly decreasing, I am now tired because I am carrying around all this extra water weight..10lbs to be exact. It is a concerning image because it has lasted for the last 14 days and each day I get larger and larger as the day progresses!
In addition to re-introducing (or in my case forcing) regular foods and stupid portion sizes into my belly, I also went off all of my supplements. It is important to take a break every 4 weeks from your fat burners so you do not become immune to them. Being that I was doing all these shows, I could not take that break and had to increased the dosage to still receive the benefits. So my body is totally off balance.
When I had enough:
Finally I started to slow down around day 10 with mental need for more food. This was not necessarily junk food or desserts (I got over that sugar craving after Day 3), it was more like a constant lack of feeling full. This prompted me to eat more, more rice, oats, chicken, egg whites, bread (Yes, I could not get enough bread!). Even though I am not eating like complete shit, I am still over eating. My damn mind is overpowering my every second and OMG the taste of slightly toasted fresh baked Italian bread is amazing! SMH (smacking my head). I was still carrying around a distended belly. This damn belly could not be hidden behind baggy clothing anymore, I look like I am freaking pregnant. I have a saying “If my belly ever passes my boobs, then I know I am screwed!” I am so screwed
An ER visit:
Last year I did 2 shows, the Colorado State and Masters Nationals, both in July a week apart. You would think that only doing these two would keep me mentally level even thought they required the back-to-back depletion weeks. I began prepping for these shows in April, a 10 week prep. After I completed Masters Nationals the deprivation caused me to want sweets, desserts, ice-cream. After 7 days I found myself checked into the ER. My pancreas was unable to process all the sugar that I was consuming. Needless-to-say, this lesson has kept me away from sugar this time around. However, now I am finding myself learning a whole new set of lessons the hard way…again!
Back to now:
At Day 10 my mind is now starting to relax. Now is time that I get a more controlled diet. Knowing that Liporidex is a natural supplement (if you do not know what I mean by natural that is probably a good thing. Just trust that it is safe for daily consumption by normal people). I find that my diet derails at 3pm, so I take 2 of these capsules at 2:30.
I pulled my carbs back because I find that when I do not consume a ton of complex carbs the slow release of sugar eliminates my mental cravings. I tried to watch my fat intake however I love snacking on those calorie dense nuts! I am just trying to get back to basics with eating healthy and find my energy.
Time to Detox!
I started a Rapid 7 day Cleanse with Fiber, I added Dandelion root and Liver Defense drops to my water, I forced as much water into me as possible that had lemon and cucumber soaking in it. I did my cardio in the morning at a very weak intensity however I am trying to move my water inflated body. Even more importantly, I found stupid things to keep me busy so I am not sitting around eating. Decorated the house for Thanksgiving, made floral arrangements, got a massage and a facial, anything to keep me moving and my mind occupied.
A couple days of doing this and I noticed my belly decrease about an inch. Not enough to look normal but just enough to take the skin stretching away.
Still looking like I am pregnant, I pulled out my damn Squeem. The dreaded Squeem actually felt really good to wear! If I cannot flush the water out, I am going to push it out! And it is working.
This morning I woke up and all the fiber has cleaned me out. My belly only looks a bit bloated now (because it is first thing in the morning), so I grabbed my show Squeem…the rubber pink torture one to tighten me up a little more. I am not even bothering getting on the scale because I could careless what it says, my scale is how I am feeling inside. I am going to attempt to do real cardio this morning at home, undistracted, and try to actually sweat again.
One day at a time!
I write these articles when I feel passionate about something, when I find that something works for me and when I experience something first hand that someone else may benefit from or relate to. I never write something to “please” someone else, I am not wired in a way to fake things or make things up. Do I know what I should be doing, yes…am I going to blow smoke up your ass and make you think I am perfect and doing what I know I should, nope. I am human and these are my experiences. These experiences are nobody’s fault but my own. They made me who I am. They allow me to talk to others who are experiencing these things first hand. My shit doesn’t come from a book. I do not preach what I have not done. This is real life. This is my life. I am in touch with my sense of self and I am no better then anyone else, shit, I might even be a little more jacked up then most!